How to Host a Dinner Party - T Magazine Guides - The New ...

To help you achieve a more flawless and fun-filled gathering, here are a set of guidelines with everything you need to know about throwing your best dinner ... TimelineInvitationsAtmosphereMenuHostingTheAfter-PartyHowtoHostaDinnerPartyByLauraRysmanIllustrationsbyKonstantinKakanias,AnimationbyJonathanEdenShareonFacebookShareonTwitterShareinanemailBookmarkthepageFood,drink,friends,goodconversation—adinnerpartyis,intheend,asimpleandenduringcombinationofingredients,madeuniquebywhathostsandguestsinfusetheeveningwith.Tohelpyouachieveamoreflawlessandfun-filledgathering,hereareasetofguidelineswitheverythingyouneedtoknowaboutthrowingyourbestdinnerparty.First,MakeaTimelineAdvanceplanningwillultimatelymakeadinnerpartythatmucheasiertopulloff.Makingaccuratelistsandgivingyourselfplentyoftimeforeachtaskwillminimizechaosandhelpyoutackletheinevitableglitchesthatarise.  TheBritishpartyplannerFionaLeahysaysthatasaprofessional,outsourcingiskeyforherownbusylife,butevenifyoucan’thireacateringstaffforyourprivateaffair,thinkaboutwhatyoudon’thavetodoyourself—likepickingupadessert,havingwine,flowersorothersuppliesdelivered,orhiringacleaningserviceforbeforeoraftertheparty.Keepingitsimpleforyourselfiscrucial.“I’mnotabovejustservingasourdoughtrufflepizzawithgreatwine,”Leahysays.“It’sthecompanythatcounts…and,ofcourse,thetablescape.”Here,hertimelinetipsforyourparty: Twoweeksbefore Createyourguestlist,makingsureyouhaveenoughdishestoserveeveryone.(Herearesomegood,simplesuggestionsfordinnerwaresets.) Sendoutyourinvitations. Thinkabouttheatmosphereandaestheticyou’dlikefortheevening.Figureoutwhatyou’llneedfordécorandmakealist. Oneweekbefore Pindownconfirmationsfromguestsandbesuretocheckontheirdietaryrestrictions. Planyourmenu,keepinginmindwhatingredientsareinseasonandwhatcanbepreparedadaybeforetheparty. Thinkabouthowyou’llwantyourdishestolookwhenserved,andbesuretoincludeanyspecialtools,platesorgarnishesyou’llneedtocreate. Pickupcandlesandanyotherdécor(exceptflowers)you’llwantfortheevening. Twodaysbefore Pickupalltheingredientsforthedinner. Purchasewineandanyotherbeveragesyou’llbeserving,andmakesureyouhaveagoodcorkscrew. Fillupyouricetraysandpickupextraicefromthestoreifyou’llbemakingcocktails. Makeaplaylist(orseveral).  Thedaybefore Prepareasmuchofthefoodaspossible,includingdessert. Cleanupyourhome,especiallyareaswhereguestswillbe(thediningroom,livingroomandbathroom)andbesurethetrashandthedishwasherareemptyforthenextday. Pickupflowersorothernaturaltouchesandputtheminvases. Thedayof Takeitfromprochefsandprepareamiseenplace,settingoutalloftheingredients,saucesandgarnishesyou’llneedtofinishyourdishesaroundacounterareawithacuttingboardandgoodknives.Lineupsmallbowlsandfillthemwitheverythingyou’llneed.  Prepareanylastdishes. Setupthetableandanydécor.Alllinens,tablesettings,glasses,placecardsandcandlesshouldbelaidoutatthispoint. Twohoursbefore Arrangeallthefoodyoucookedpreviouslyonthecounterandpulloutanypotsyou’llneedtopreparethem. Setupadrinkandsnackstationforguests’arrivalwithwineoranaperitifandsomethingsmalltonibbleon. Putpitchersorbottlesofwateronthetable. Getdressedfortheevening. Lightcandlesandputonyourfirstplaylist. Haveaglassofwineortakeamomentforyourselfsoyou’rerelaxedwhenyourguestsarrive. MoreonEntertainingHowtoThrowaPartyYouWon’tWanttoLeaveMarch11,2016HowtoDecompress,AccordingtoanIn-DemandPartyPlannerJanuary10,2017HowtoHostaRelaxedDinnerPartyLikeanItalianJune15,2017HowtoThrowaLaid-backParisianDinnerPartyOctober3,2017DinnerPartyInvitationsAninvitationletsyourguestsknowyou’replanningsomethingspecialforthem,andhelpsmarkthedifferencebetweenaregulardinnerandadinnerparty.Yoursshouldreflecttheaestheticofyoureveningandthelevelofformalityyouwishtocommunicate.Ifyou’repicturingamoreformaldinner,sendaprintedorhandwritteninvitation.Formorecasualevents,anemailore-vitecanwork.Sendtheinvitationsassoonaspossible—themorenoticeyougiveyourguests,themorelikelythey’llbeabletocome.AskgueststoR.S.V.P.andfollowuptobesuretheyreceivedtheinvitation. Yourinvitationshouldincludethetimeanddateofyourevent,thelocationaddress,thethemeofthepartyifthereisone,adeadlineforsendingtheR.S.V.P.andanyspecialdresscodestobeawareofifyou’replanningsomethingfancierthanacasualdinner. Yourguestswillmostlikelybringsomething,sorecommendbringingwhatwouldactuallybehelpful.Youcanspecifyontheinvitationwhatyouthinkwillgowellwiththedinner— “whitewinewelcome,”forexample.Planningthemealaroundwhatguestsbringcanbeproblematic,sobesureyouhaveenoughofeverythingforthedinner(unlessyou’renotplanningapotluck).Bespecificinyourrequests,especiallywhenguestsaskwhattheycanbring—itwillmakethechoiceeasierforthemandmoreusefulforyou. Whenconsideringyourinvites,rememberthattodaypaperpostisararityandmakesastatementofrealintent,soreserveitforwhenyouareplanningasignificantorfancierevening.EventheNewYorkinvitationdesignerEllenWeldonsaysshejustphonesupherguestsforanintimatedinnerparty.But,shesays,“forlargerevents,Isendgloriouslyletteredinvitations!” Shealsosendsthankyounotestoherguestsforspecialoccasions.It’sagoodideaforgueststosendtheirownthankyoutotheirhoststhedayafterthedinner,whetherthat’satext,email,phonecallorhandwrittennote.HowtoSendanE-viteThereareanumberofeasyonlineoptionsthatallowyoutoquicklycreateinvitationsandsendthemtoyourguests,aswellaskeeptrackofyourR.S.V.P.s.Ifyou’reconnectedtoallofyourinviteesonFacebook,thesite’sevent-creationoptionisquickandstraightforward.Othersiteshelpyoucreatee-vitesthatmimicthefeelofold-fashionedpaperinvitationswithsometechnologicalbenefits,suchasGooglemapsofthelocationandautomaticremindersforyourgueststoR.S.V.P.PaperlessPostoffersfreeandpremiumdesignswiththeoptiontoorderprintedversions.PinggfeaturesarangeoforiginalworkbyartistsandPunchbowloffersorganizingtoolslikedate-planningwithyourfriends,butbothwillhityourinviteeswithadsunlessyoupayamembershipfee. HowtoCraftaGuestListConsideryourguestlistbeforeyousendtheinvitations.Howmanypeoplecanfitcomfortablyinyourspace?Canyouprepareenoughfoodforthenumberofguestsyou’reinviting?Isthereanyoneonyourlistwhowon’tgetalongwithothersorislikelytocauseproblemsatthedinner?Haveyouincludedafriendortwowhowillgiveyouahandduringthepartyifneeded—andwhocanhelpfacilitateconversation?Willthepeopleonyourlistmeshwelltogether,eveniftheydon’tyetknoweachother?  Imaginethegroupyou’reassemblingandthinkabouthowyoumightseatthemtogether.Ifyoucan’tfindasuitableneighborforanyofyourguests,considerremovingthemfromthelistorinvitingsomeoneelsewhowillmakeagoodtablemateforthem.BesuretogetyourR.S.V.P.sassoonaspossible,soifsomeofyourguestsareunabletoattend,youcanfilltheemptyseatsbyinvitingotherguestswithatleastsomenotice. NinaYashar,theMilandesigngalleristknownforherharmoniouslymixedinteriors,saysherdinnerpartieshavefrequentlyintroducedhergueststonewbestfriendsandbusinesspartners,becauseofhertendencytoinvitetwooldfriendsandtwonewfriendstoeveryaffair.Adinnerpartyisagreatwaytoacquaintnewpeople,buttrustyfriends(andconversationalists)areindispensable.Theireasewillinviteotherstotakethesameattitude.Amongguests,sharedinterests,professionalfieldsorasenseofhumorwillalsohelp.ChooseYourDinnerPartyAtmosphereInordertocreatetheatmosphereyou’dlikeforyourevening,firstthinkaboutthedetailsofdinnersyou’vebeentowhereyouenjoyedyourself,andthenthinkaboutthekindofnightyouhopethiswillbe—formalorrelaxed?Calmorboisterous?Intimateorpackedwithnewacquaintances?Thisisverymuchaboutwhoyouareandwhatyouwantyourgueststoexperience.Everythingfromthelookofyourtabletothedécortothemusicplayingduringtheeveningwillimpactthatexperience,sobesurethatyouareabletodescribetheatmosphereyouwantinafewwords,andthenapplythethemetoalloftheseareas.“Decorationsshouldreflectyourpersonality,”saysAngelaMissoni,creativedirectoroftheMissonibrand.Indulgeguestsinyourowntasteratherthanthinkingaboutwhat’sproper. WhenMissoniplannedthecelebrationforher20thanniversaryinchargeofthebrand,shewassocommittedtorecreatingawarm,welcomingfeelthatshebroughtintruckloadsofcolorfulvintagefurnitureanddecorationsfromherownhousetothepartyspace.“Ithastofeellikehome,”shesays.“IwasraisedintheseintimatedinnersofmyparentsandIlearnedtolovecreatingtheseevents.”Herapproach?“Veryinformal,andveryfriendly.Evenifthere’saprofessionalsidetotheoccasion,Ihavethedinnersbecausethey’refun,becausethey’rethebestwaytomeetpeople. Needsomeinspiration?WatchthisvideofeaturingtheinteriordesignerSaraRuffinCostellohostingapartyfortheNewOrleansBalletTheatre. ChangetheLightingTurnoffafewlampsandlightplentyofcandles.Whetheryouuseasilvercandelabraorahandfuloftealights,softilluminationisoneoftheeasiestandmostimportantwaysyoucantransformyourspace.“Ifyou’vejustgotyourselfasix-packofbeerandsomecandles,you’vegotyourselfagreatparty,”counselsRuffinCostello.AddSomethingfromOutsideTheeasiestwaytomakeyourhomefeelfestiveandinvitingistofillyourspacewithabitofthenaturalworld.EmilyThompson,afloraldesignerinNewYork,suggeststhatyoukeepflowersnatural-looking,“asthoughthearrangementjustsprangfromthetabletopofitsownvolition.”Don’tgettoofussy;chooseseasonalbloomsandcutsomewildfoliageintothemix“soit’snotsostiffandcommercialinfeel.”Ifyoulookaroundyourneighborhoodandtherearenowild-growingplantstotaketrimmingsfrom,“mostfloristsandevendelisofferbranchesandotherseasonaltexturesthatcantakethedesignsinamoreauthenticdirection.”  Tomakethemostofyourflowers,theLosAngeles-basedfloristEricButerbaughadvisesremovingallleavesandthornsthatwouldbebelowwaterlevelinthevaseandcuttingstemsataslightangletohelphydrateyourblooms.Foramorecomposedbouquetstructure,makeagridoffloraltapeoveryourvase’sopeningandfillintheopensquareswithstems.Generally,startwithfoliageoranystructuralgreenery,thenaddyourlargerprimaryflowersandfinishwithyoursmallerblooms,sayNicoletteOwenandSarahRyhanenofBrooklyn’sLittleFlowerSchool. Foranalternativetoasingle(possiblyview-blocking)centerpiece,placebudsintinyvasesorlaybranchesofgreeneryorwildberriesdirectlyonthetable.Alsorecommended:pilesoffruit.Abowlofcherries,grapesorclementinesonthetablelookslovelyandmakesforaneasydessertcourseattheendofthedinner. SettheTableThinkofyourtablescapeasmorethanjustservingaccoutrementsforfoodanddrinks—itis,infact,thesceneryforthetheaterofdinnerthatyouarecrafting.Yourtablelinens,plates,silverware,glassesanddecorationsarevisualcluestoyourguests.Traditionalstylescreatearefinedambience;acolorfulmixwillcreateamorelightheartedone. “Thetableisthesourceofanevening’satmosphere,”saysConstanzaParavicini,whosenamesakeMilanatelierproduceswhimsicalhand-paintedplates.“Ifit’ssetwithloveandattention,thetabletransmitsthatfeelingtoguests.”Sherecommendsmixingstylesfreely,butwithsomecommonelementsbetweenplacesettings—noperfectsetsofdishwarenecessary,justanartfulblendofwhatyoulikeandhaveonhand.Paraviciniwilluseanarrayofdifferentplatesandglassesfoundatfleamarketsthathavesomesimilartrait—dishesofvaryingdesignsbutwithshadesofbluethroughout,orsimilarlyshapedgobletsinarainbowoftones. “Wheneverythingisdifferent,itcreatesacertainunity,”shesays.Italsocreatesatopicofconversation. MartinaMondadori,theeditorofthemaximalistdesignmagazineCabana,advisesthattocreateatablescapeyoushouldstartwithatableclothyoulike—andbuildupthelookyouwantfromthere.Herownstyle—“theoppositeofmatchy-matchy”— blendseclecticfleamarketplatesandglasseswithfamilyheirlooms,MuranoglassandeventheoccasionalfindfromZaraHome,alongwithanassortmentofvintagecutleryandcustom-madeprintedtablecloths.“Thetableisawayofexpressingyourpersonality,”shesays.“Mineisnotveryformal.”Mixingupfleamarketfindsisnottheonlywaytosetatablebut,asMondadoriseesit,“Themoodrightnowistohavefundecoratingandnotbetoostiff.”  Forinspiration,searchforimagesoftablesettingsonline,onPinterestandonInstagram—thereareendlesswaystousedishes,napkins,placecards,candelabras,centerpieces,tableclothsanddecorationstocreateauniqueandstrikingtablescape.WirecutterproductBestTableclothWilliamsSonomaHotelTableclothThiswell-madetableclothisavailableineightsizes,andfeaturesatightweavethatgivesitastructureddrape.MoreofWirecutter'stableclothpicksRightArrowIconRightArrowIconWirecutterproductBestDinnerwareSetTheFitzandFloydNevaehDinnerwareCollectionThisversatilebonechinacollectionissuitableforeverydayuseyetelegantenoughforformaldinnerparties.MoreWirecutterdinnerwarepicks.RightArrowIconRightArrowIconCuetheMusicDon’tforgetthemusic.Makeyourplaylistsaheadoftimeandpickthesongsyoulove—thisisaboutwelcomingguestsintoyourdomainafterall—aslongastheywillmakeyouandyourguestsfeelhappyandrelaxed.It’sgoodtohavesomedifferentchoicesonoffersoguestscanplayD.J.ifthemusic’snotmatchingtheevening. BarnabaFornasetti,theMilan-baseddesignerofthedécorcompanyhisfatherfounded,isaD.J.bypassion,andrenownedforthegatheringshehasathishome—whichfrequentlyturnintodanceparties.Heencouragesavoidingmonotonywithyourchoicesandmixingmusicgenressoeveryonefindssomethingtolove.“Ithinkit’sfuntogetpeoplefromage18to70todancetogether—whichhappensfrequentlyatmyparties,”hesays.  MichelGaubert,thego-toD.J.forcreatingthemusicalambienceoftoprunwayshows,enjoysorchestratingtherighttoneforhishomepartiesaswell.“Thebestistomixfamiliarsongswithsongsthataremorepersonaltoyourself,”hesays.Asaprofessional,Gaubertisexpectedtoplaysomeunexpectedtunes,butherecommendsthatallhoststaketheopportunitytointroducegueststosongstheymaynotknow,aslongasthemusicwon’tmakepeopleuncomfortable.“Guestsalwaysliketobesurprised,”hesays,addingthatmusicisthebestwaytotakeyoureveningfromdinnertodanceparty,ifthat’swhatyou’reafter—andifthecrowdisamenable.“Iamalwaystheonetopumpupthevolumewhenthetimeisright.”ClicktheSpotifymoduleabovetolistentoGaubert'sspecialdinner-partyplaylist. InspirationfromTheNewYorkTimesMagazineTheOld-SchoolDinnerPartyOctober25,2017TheAll-Hands-On-DeckDumplingPartyOctober25,2017TheEvening-in-ParisDinnerOctober25,2017CreatingaDinnerPartyMenuWhileyoumaythinkthatadinnerpartyrequiresextraordinaryfeatsofcookingtoimpressyourguests,themostimportantaspectofyourmenuisthatitcanbepreparedalmostentirelybeforeanyguestsarrive,freeingyouuptohost.  Keepinmindthatsomethingwillmostlikelygowrong—onlyprofessionalchefscookforlargegroupseveryday,andtheyhaveastaffofhelpers—sodon’tpanic.Pauseforasecondandthinkofhowtosolvetheproblem,eveniftheresultisn’tuptowhatyouhadimaginedfortheevening.Havingtroublefindingasolution?Pullafriendintothekitchenandsolicitideas(alongwithabitofcommiserationandperhapsaglassofwine).  Ifyou’remakingmorethanonedish,servethemasseparatecourses.Thiswillmakethedinnerlastlongerandhighlighttheindividualdishesyou’veprepared.“Theflavorsofdifferentcoursesshouldnevermix—it’saruleoftheItaliankitchen,”saystheUmbriancashmeremagnateBrunelloCucinelli.It’sagoodrulefordinnerpartiesaswell,evenitleadstoatallpileofplatestowashattheendofthenight.Atmorecasualaffairs,disposabletableware,especiallypalm-leafplatesandbambooutensils,canstandin,saysFornasetti. RitaSodi,chefandowneroftheTuscan-inspiredNewYorkrestaurantISodi,recommendscreatingyourmenuaroundaspecialingredientthat’sjustcomeintoseasonsuchastruffles,asparagus,artichokes,tomatoesorpumpkin,whichlendsadinneramorecelebratorydiningspirit(andtastierfood).  Sodiwillsometimesthrowcookingpartieswheresheinviteseveryoneintothekitchen,withacaseofwineonthecountertop,tohelpherpreparedishes.Butunlessyouwantyourwholepartyinthekitchen,makesureyou’reservingdishesthatallowyoutospendasmuchtimeaspossibleatthehuboftheevening—thetable.“Atavolanonsiinvecchia,”Sodisays,quotinghermotherandacommonItalianproverb.“Youdon’tageatthetable.”Enjoytherespite.WirecutterproductTheBestKnifeSetWüsthofClassicIkon7-PieceWalnutBlockKnifeSetThisclassic-lookingsetincludesthemostusefulknivesforhome-kitchenuse,pluspull-apartkitchenshears,ahoningsteel,andastorageblock.MoreWirecutter'sknifesetpicksRightArrowIconRightArrowIconCookAheadPlandishesthatyoucanmakethedaybeforeandthenheatupintheovenoronthestovetop.Almostallsoupsandstewsonlyimproveovernight.Quiches,pies,roastedmeatsandsaucesalsodowell.Mostbakedorrefrigerateddessertscanbepreparedadayaheadandstored,oryoucanpurchaseadessertfromabakeryorgrocerystore.Considerpreparingadessertinramekinsifyouhaveasetathomesoindividualservingswillbeabreeze—butrememberthatcakeandtartrecipeswillneedlessoventimeinthesmallcontainers.Anyotherdishesshoulduserecipesthatcanbepartiallypreparedandfinishedwithasimplesteportwowhenguestsarrive,likefishinparchmentpaperthatcanmarinateaheadoftimeandthenbefinishedintheoven,withoutkeepingyouinthekitchenforoversight.RecommendedRecipesfromNYTCookingCOOKINGPan-RoastedAsparagusSoupCOOKINGCharlieBird'sFarroSaladCOOKINGMarinatedBeetSaladWithWhippedGoatCheeseCOOKINGRoastedorGrilledWholeFishWithTomatoVinaigretteDecorateYourPlatesTomakewhatyou’reservingfeelmoreparty-worthy,plateeachcoursewithspecialcare,embellishingwithabeautifulgarnish,usingrestaurant-styletoolslikefoodringstoshapedishes,ordroppingbottlestoartfullyapplysauces—creatingalookthatfitswithyouraesthetic.SophieBuhaishootsformakingherdishesasartfullythree-dimensionalasthesculpturaljewelryshedesigns.ForadinnerfordesignerRachelComey,chefIgnacioMattoscookedandservedtilefishunderathicklayerofsalt,adramaticallyelementalstylereflectingthedesigner’sstripped-downArtsandCraftsaesthetic.Togetideas,thinkaboutadish’sappearancethatyouappreciatedinarestaurantandfigureoutwhatyou’llneedtorecreateit.Mosthigh-impactplatepresentationsarereallytheresultofasimpletoolortrick.Whileyou’reservingandplatingthedinner,letafriendoreagerguestgiveyouahandinthekitchen. RitaSodialsorecommendsthefollowing: Setoutyourmiseenplaceinadvance.Thismeansarrangingalltheingredientsthatyouwillneedtoprepareandfinishyourdishesonthecountertop—vegetablesshouldbechoppedandpiledinsmallbowls,saucesshouldbeassembledandgarnishesready,alongsideanyoils,butter,vinegarsorotheringredientsyou’lluse.Shealsoencouragesmakingalistofeverythingyouneedtodoforyourdishes,carefullylayingouttimingforeachstep. Makerecipesyou’vealreadytriedinthepastratherthanexperimentingwithbrand-newones.Familiaritywithadishmeansthatyouknowitwilltastegoodanddoesn’tneedadjustments,andthatyou’llbelesslikelytorunintosnafus.  Setoutsmallbiteswithanopenbottleofwineoranaperitifforwhenguestsarrive. Keepsomesaladgreensanddriedpastaonhandsoyoucanquicklywhipupasimpledishforaguestintolerantofwhat’sonthemenu,addingawarmvegetablefromthetableorsomeoliveoilandgarlictomakeameal.  Assignguestssimpletasks,suchaschoppingvegetables,iftheyoffertohelp. Servebuffet-styleforalargegroup,settingupdishesonasideboard.  Dessertcanbesimple:adarkchocolatebarbrokenintopiecesorabowloffruitwillstandinnicelyifyoudon’twanttobakeorbuysomethingelaborate. ChooseWineandDrinksWhenchoosingwhatbeveragestoserve,considerwhatmightgowellwithyourmenu,whatyouliketodrinkyourselfandwhatthegroupmightenjoy.Thinkalsoaboutwhatkindofnightthisshouldbe.Doyouwantatequila-induceddancepartyorasparklingwater-supportedbusinesscardexchange?Otherwise,wineisthestandardlibationfordinnerparties. A750milliliterbottlecontainsaboutfiveglassesofwine.Youcanusuallybetonthreeglassesperguest(factoringinwhetheryou’reinvitingteetotalersorheavytipplers)plussomeextrasoyoudon’trunout,whichgenerallymeanscountingaroundonebottleperpersontobesafe.Besurewaterisonthetableatdinner,andrefillyourguests’glassesfrequentlytokeepthemhappy,healthy—andnottoosloppy. Generally,you’llwanttostartyourguestsoffwithaglassofsomethingbubbly—iteasesthetransitiontodrinkingandtendstoputpeopleinafestivemood.“Everyoneshouldhaveamagnumofpét-natathomereadytorollfortheirguestsastheywalkin,”saysJorgeRiera,winedirectorofContraandWildair,referringtoadouble-sizedbottleofsparklingpétillantnaturelle.Afterthat,youcanprogresstowhiteorredwinewiththedinner.Planonservingthesamekindthroughoutthedinner,savingyourguests’wineforanotheroccasionorincaseyourwinerunsout—unlessyou’veinformedthemofwhatkindofwinetobringaheadoftime. Withtheattitudethatwineshouldbeashigh-qualityasthefoodyouserve,Rierarecommendschoosingnaturalwines,whicheschewadditivesinfarmingandvinificationforwhatenthusiastslikeRierasayisahealthierandmoreexpressivewine.Tohelpfindwinesyou’llenjoydrinking,turntoagoodwineshopwhereknowledgeablestaffmemberscanpointyoutowardsbottlesthatfityourbudget,mealandtastepreferences.Atthestore,RierasuggestslookingforbottlesfromnaturalwineimporterslikeLDM,Jenny&François,ZRS,SelectionMassaleandIndieWineries—eventuallyyou’llfindonewhoseselectionyouappreciate.Lookfortheimporter’sstamponthebackofthelabelorasktheshopstaffforhelp. RecommendedNaturalWines: LaSelva,MorellinodiScansano2013 TenutadiCastellaro,NeroOssidiana2012 TenutaLunelli,Ziggurat  AriannaOcchipinti,Siccagno2013 Daino,Suber2009  Valdibella,NinfaCatarratto2014 AldoViola,EgestaGrillo2015 JeanYvesPéron,LeGrandeJournée,Savoie2015 1701Sullerba2015 LesCapriades,PepinlaBulle2013 FrancisBoulard,LesRachaisChampagneBrutNature2007 WirecutterproductBestWineGlassesLibbeySignatureKentfieldEstateAll-PurposeWineGlassThisinexpensivetulip-shapedglassisdurablefordailyuse,yetstillthinandelegantenoughfordinnerparties.MoreWirecutterwineglasspicks.RightArrowIconRightArrowIconWirecutterproductBestCorkscrewTrueFabricationsTruetapJustafewbucksgetsyouareliableandeasy-to-usemanualopener.Thedouble-hingemakespullingthecorkoutofabottleasimpleprocess.MoreWirecuttercorkscrewpicks.RightArrowIconRightArrowIconBeaGoodHostAshost,yourjobistohelpguestsgetacquaintedandcomfortablewitheachother.Getthemchattingbyincludingatidbitabouteachpersonwhenyouintroducethem,andiftwoguestsshareacommoninterest,besuretoaddthatonaswell.Otherwise,anengagingdetailaboutoneoftheguests—arecenttrip,anexcitingnewjoboranysignificantlifeevent—willstarttheconversation.Beyondthat,thebestgiftyoucangiveyourguestsistosetthetoneyourselfbybeingrelaxedandconvivial,regardlessofwhateverdisastersmighthavebefallenyouinthekitchen. Considerplacecardsforgroupsofeightormore,especiallyifnoteveryoneknowseachother.“Justthinkcarefullyabouthowtomixyourguestswell,”cautionsMondadori.Thinkalsoaboutthelevelofformalityofyourdinner.Foraverycasualevening,there’snoneedforplacecardsevenwithalargegroup. Getguests’bagsandcoatsoutofthewayandintoaclosetorbedroomimmediatelyuponarrival,whileaskingguestseithertostoreoropenthewinetheybrought,andtotakecareofanyflowers.  Offersomethingtodrinkorshowgueststhedrinkstationyou’vesetupwhentheyarrive,makingintroductionsbeforereturningtothekitchentofinishpreparing. Thinkaboutservingdessertinthelivingroomoranothersettingawayfromthetabletohelpmixupthegroupandstartnewconversations,orencouragepeopletochangeplacesatthetable.Servecoffeeoradigestiftohelpwrapthingsup. MindYourMannersInourmultifacetedmodernera,itseemstherearenocommonlyagreed-uponrulesforetiquette.Standardsaregenerallymuchmorerelaxedtodaythaninthepast,buttoavoidgaffes,considerthedinnerpartyasanarenainwhichasharedsetofrulesisestablishedbyobservation. AccordingtoJeremiahTower,thecelebritychefwhohelpeddefineCaliforniacuisineandauthoredthe2016book“TableManners,”etiquettenowissimplerthanever.“Thecardinalruleisfollowyourhost,”hesays.“Therearenosetrules.Ifyou’rehavingdinnerwiththeDuchessofDevonshire,ofcourseyoudon’tputyourelbowsonthetable,butotherwisejustlookaroundandyou’llgetanideaofhowyou’resupposedtoact.” Toweradmonishesgueststoabandonthenavel-gazingtendenciesofourcontemporarycultureandprioritizethinkingaboutothersatthedinnerparty—firstandforemostthehost.Asachefwell-acquaintedwiththehurriedstressofcookingforcrowds,Toweriskeenonnotburdeningthehostwithextratasksduringthedinner’spreparations,soanywineorflowersshouldbesentaheadortakencareofbytheguestuponarrival.Thehostshouldnotbeexpectedtotaketimeawayfromcookingpreparations.Don’tasktohelp,heimplores—pickaspecifictask,likeopeningwineorsettingthetable,thenannouncethatyou’regoingtodoitandgettowork,soyoudon’tburdenyourhostwithdelegatingchores.  Headviseshoststobeequallyempathetic.“Adinnerpartyisallaboutwhethertheguestsaregoingtomeshornot,”hesays.Hewarnsnottoinviteonlycouples,andnottonecessarilyseatthemnexttoeachother;topayattentiontoguests’allergiesiftheyhadthewherewithaltowarnthehostaheadoftime;andaboveall,toberelaxed.“Ifyou’reuptight,everyoneelsewillbeuptight,”hesays.“Thesoufflécollapsed?Well,justcoveritwithcream,shoveitintheovenandcallityourgrandmother’sgratin”—thewisdomofawell-seasonedchef.DiscourageCellphonesAsahostoraguest,you’llwanttominimizecellphoneuse,whichcanquicklydrawyouawayfromthegroupactivityofdiningandtalking.Answeringtextsandphonecallsduringdinnersendstherudemessagethatthepresentcompanyinfrontofyouislessimportant,butzerophonetimeisanearlyimpossibleexpectationthesedays.Ifyoumusttakeacallorsendsometexts,trytoleavetheroom. Ofcourse,theremaybepeoplewhowanttobroadcastthebeautyofthetablesettingsorthewonderofthehost’sentreeplatetotheirsocialmediafollowers.Towergreenlightsthiskindofbehavioronlyifeveryoneisonboard.“I’vehadpeoplestopmefromeatingbecauseonepersonwantstophotographthefood.Icouldstabthemwithafork!”hesniffs,comingbacktohisessentialrule:Thinkofothers;don’tupsetanyone. CuetheConversationConversationisvitaltoasuccessfuldinnerparty—almostasmuchasfood.Thefirststeptowardsensuringthatyournightholdssomefascinatingreparteeisbyinvitingpeopleyouknowenjoymakingconversationorhaveinterestingstoriesandopinionstoshare.Ifmanyofyourguestsdon’tknoweachother,oreveniftheydo,thebestwaytowarmuptheatmosphereistointroduceanelementoffuntotheevening.Atonedinner,Paravicinigaveguestsplatesinscribedwithshockingmessagesunderneath,suchas“Yourneighborisdeeplyinlovewithyou,”creatinganinstantgameofshow-and-tell.Ashost,it’salsoagoodideatotellanentertainingstorytoyourgueststogettheballrollingandelicitmorestories.Talesofchildhood,zanyearlyjobsorpastsharedexperiencesarethetypeofanecdotesthatwillhelpguestsconnecttoeachotherandspurtheirownmemoriestokeepstoriescoming. Thoughyou’llwanttodefuseanybitterfights,utterlyrestrainedpolitenessisnotgoingtomakeforthemostrevelatorydiscussionseither,sodon’tfearsomedifferenceinopinion.“Thethreethingsyou’reneversupposedtotalkabout—sex,politicsandreligion—arethemostinterestingtopics,”saysTower,“sobringthemupaslongasitdoesn’tinsultanyone,andyoukeepitfunandnon-controversial”—unlesscontroversyiswhatthehostwants.Whatevertopicyoumayintroduce,ifnoone’sfollowingyourconversationalleadafteraminuteortwo,putawaythosebabyphotosandwrapitup,hecounsels. OftheMomentThelifestylenewsletterfromTMagazineandtheStyle,TravelandFoodsections,fromthelatesttrendstonewsyoucanuse.YouremailaddressSignUpSeesample|PrivacyPolicy|OptoutorcontactusanytimeAftertheParty'sOverClean-UpThejury’soutonwhethertotaketimeawayfromyourgueststowashdishesimmediatelyafterthemeal,ortoleavethemforthemorningafterandnotabandonyourpostastheanchorofthedinnerparty.Gettingatleastsomeofthemoutofthewaywillmakeyourmorningmuchbetter,butit’sundoubtedlyeasierifsomeone’shelpingyouwiththedinnerandyoucantagteambetweenguestsanddishduty.Atminimum,corkandstoreanyextrawine,putawayleftoversandgetdishessoakinginthesinkoraplastictub. Say‘ThankYou’Ifyourguestscontributedtomakingthedinnerasuccess—pullingoffasurprisepartyorbringingoverfood,forexample—besuretosendathankyounotethenextday.Theformatshouldbeatleastasformalastheinvitationyousent. Guestsshouldalwayssendathankyounotetohosts—justlookatallthepreparationtheywentthroughtogiveyoualovelyevening.Herealsotheformatshouldatleastmatchthetypeofinvitationsent,but,whenindoubt,sendingahandwrittennoteorflowersisalwaysgreatlyappreciated.Thankyourhostforwhatyouenjoyedmostabouttheevening.Ifyouthoughtthemealwasdeliciousorthediningroomwasbeautiful,besuretomentionthat,andaddanoteaboutgettingtogetherinthefuture. AbouttheAuthorAnenthusiastoffood,styleandgoodliving, LauraRysman isbasedinItalyandcontributestoT,TheNewYorkTimesandMonocle.